REVIEWS OF MY HNL – HAIKU AND POEM EDITION

I dig minimalism. That is, slick and sparse, concise and controlled works.

Of course there’s an art to using this “less is more” approach. For me, I need to work on actually getting to the subject, rather than just beating around a bush (a bush that’s been beaten way too much) with alliterating adjectives and contrived imagery.

My tendency to overuse words and interject all types of parentheses, dashes, and both semi and full colon’s is on display here with my bad fiction (and this damn paragraph.) I’m not sure where this overwhelming need to feel, document, and explore words comes from. Probably from  my sheltered, spoiled, upper-middle class upbringing. Or only-child insecurities that resulted in my subsequent withdrawal of the real world and into universe where practical level headed things didn’t matter. Or from a time in which I only chased these consistent feelings, allowing everything else to fall away.

Anyway I hope the excessive wordiness provides a good contrast to the minimal, barely-there design of the blog.

So today’s reviews are about minimalism. That shit that be like,  “damn that was sick.. but short.” (That’s what she said!) 

My HNL’s Fave Shady Pizza Place – King’s Pizza (A Haiku)

Drunk talking to me
Flickering light in that van
Oh God The Pizza OWNS

My HNL’s Fave Constructed Atop a Pile of Trash, Formerly a Landfill  Park – Kaka’ako Waterfront Park

I feel bad for you, sun/

I got 99 problems but a shelter for bbq ain’t one/

My HNL’s Best and Worst Interstate  –  H1

1. The biggest parking lot in Hawaii.

2. Shouldn’t this be Intra-State H-1? Whatever

Seriously you need to drive on this highway to get anywhere in HNL, by default this makes it the best. I’m not talking about Nimitz “fucking armpit of Hawaii” Highway here. Therefore if it’s 4PM and you need to meet someone at Ala Moana to pick up your 8th of weed, you should just sit there, parked,  sobbing and enjoy the sodomy that is inevitable.

On the bright side, you see shit like this, while the guy on the side of you blasts 98.5 Hawaii’s Island Station at full volume, inching toward a sunny death:

Fucking Whales. Oh my God. It’s fucking beautiful. Man if anyone who was sitting right where you are, staring at your  computer screen, said that this whale mural didn’t make them feel something, ANYTHING, they’d got to be fucking with me. ‘Cause then, and only then, would they dare to say some stupid shit like that, because this whale mural is just fucking beautiful and you gotta be some sick dirty animal hating shit to not feel anything!

This is just one of many whale, dolphin, and ocean murals that are painted onto side of buildings here.

And if you find this disagreeable then you ought to get off our island so the Koreans and Vietnamese illegals who overstay their visa and disappear into the underbelly of HNL can take your place already.

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